by Joshua Boucher
The Lance – Opinion & Alternative Writer
Editor’s note: The following piece is a satire. Quotes and factual statements have been skewed for your entertainment.
The manager of Windsor’s Contracts, Field Services, and Maintenance Division Phong Nguy and the university’s Facility Planning, Renovation, and Construction manager Dan Castellan have announced their joint effort to decrease accessibility to and on the University of Windsor campus.
“It’s a bold move and a risky decision to make,” Castellan said in an interview earlier this month. “But it’s all part of our plan to improve the school’s reputation.”
The Contracts, Field Services, and Maintenance Division are responsible for municipal infrastructure, including bridge maintenance and road reconstruction. The Facility Planning, Renovation, and Construction department is a section of Facility Services that has a very self-explanatory name. This department also has additional responsibilities like knocking down a residence building every couple of years.
I’m sure you’ve noticed the construction going on around campus. The most obvious is the Science and Research Innovation Facility (SRIF) that are popping up between the Jackman Dramatic Art Centre and the residence quad. This location was strategically chosen to maximize the inconvenience to both drama and residence students.
Beyond the SRIF, there’s also construction between Chrysler Hall and Lambton Tower, on the west side of Dillon Hall, and on the west side of Assumption Hall (the latter of which is, ironically, to install an accessibility ramp). Science students may also have noticed that there is currently work being done on the interior of Essex Hall to remove asbestos.
Construction has also begun in the area surrounding the campus. Both Wyandotte and Donnelly Street have been closed where they intersect with Huron Church Road due to overhead construction being performed on Ambassador Bridge. Also, students and faculty involved with the Great Lakes Institute for Environmental Research (GLIER) are no doubt familiar with the roundabout being constructed right in front of the GLIER building. This roundabout has necessitated the closure of Sandwich where it intersects with Riverside and University.
Students are wondering, “Why is all of this construction happening at the same time? Couldn’t this have been planned better?”
“It’s actually best to do all of the work at once,” Castellan explained. “You see, part of the reason our school has a poorer reputation compared to other universities is because uWindsor is easier to get into than schools like Waterloo or McMaster.”
Castellan continued, “We needed a way to make our school harder to get into—but without impeding our enrolment numbers. The obvious solution was to start setting up physical barriers around campus. Now that the university is physically harder to get into, our reputation should improve.”
This is all part of the University’s five-year plan. Improvements in reputation are expected to be seen…eventually. Hopefully.
If you would like to be informed of each construction project or service interruption on campus, you can find ‘Notices of Service Interruptions and Projects’ from Facility Services at this link:
Some of the documents have handy little maps and diagrams of what areas will be affected by the projects in question. End dates for each interruption are also included.
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