By Joshua Boucher
It’s no secret that school spirit on our fair campus is somewhat lacking. We Lancers are at a disadvantage, after all. Our Latin motto translates to “Teach me knowledge, goodness, and discipline”, two-thirds of which make for a very boring university student. And our logo is a shield with three plants and not even the fun kind for that matter.
School Tries Stoking Spirit
Of course, the administration here at the U is very aware of the general lack of school spirit and has been diligently working to remedy it. The Office of Student Experience, especially, has been working on the UWin Proud campaign. This campaign involves a number of campus events that provide students, faculty, and staff with opportunities to show pride in the university.
One such event is the Epic Bingo Night on Wednesday, November 14th. This event will be taking place from 7-9 PM in the food court seating area of the CAW Student Centre. Attendance is free for all University of Windsor Students. Prizes include high-end electronics that everyone will want to win, such as an RC drone, a Galaxy tablet, a 32” LED TV; as well as some much less impressive swag, like gift cards for The Keg, Starbucks, and the campus bookstore.
Additionally, there is also the Beautiful UWindsor Contest, wherein you are encouraged to send in original photos of the beauty on campus. Submissions are open until November 23rd and can be sent to Jacqueline.Veres@uwindsor.ca, for the chance to win a GoPro Hero and/or a $100 Amazon gift card.
A Bold New Approach
But perhaps the Office of Student Experience isn’t thinking far enough outside the box. I’m sure the bingo night will be a blast for those who like bingo, but it’s such an old person pastime that I don’t understand why it was the go to. I guess it’s what’s hip with the youth now. But I think we ought to be boosting our school spirit by encouraging the things that go to the core of what Lancers stand for.
I am referring, of course, to lances. The solution is obvious. We are called Lancers, our mascot Winston is a knight, and our freaking news and entertainment site is even called “The Lance” (like us on Facebook!). The clear way to improve Lancer Pride is to incorporate lances into our day-to-day activities on campus. It is with this in mind that I make the following proposal:
The university should replace every professor’s laser pointer with an actual, literal lance.
The Inner Lancer
Imagine it. It’s a Monday morning. You have an 8:30 AM class. You wake up at 8:29 and sprint into the lecture hall, hating every minute of your life as you look for an empty seat that’s nearest to the door because you’re a considerate classmate who wants to avoid walking in front of people when you arrive late.
You find a seat, one of those with the folding desk sections for the left-handed. You rethink your decision to attend university at all. Maybe you should’ve read more get-rich-quick books in high school. You want to leave, but suddenly the professor clears his ragged throat and you see it for the first time.
They are holding a tangible, physical, historically accurate lance. This decrepit professor raises his medieval weapon, a pointed cylinder reaching almost 11 feet in length. He indicates the title of his slideshow lecture with the pointed end, beginning this morning’s lecture. You feel something surge deep within your core. Something tugs at a primaeval part of you, the Neanderthal, or the millennia of civilized warfare, perhaps; something violent and brave and strong and magnificent.
The weapon sings to you. It churns out a part of you that society has long tried to keep out, to suppress. It’s your inner warrior. It’s your gallant cavalryman. It’s your chivalric ethos. It is what you are. It is the knowledge that you can run into any challenge the day might throw at you and come away unscathed, victorious. It is your inner Lancer, telling you to take charge.
Imagine it. Do you want to go to the school where the Lancer loyalty app earns you points for attending games? Or do you want to go to the school where faculty members begin the day by arming themselves with ten feet of pointed steel?
“Windsor? What’s your mascot?” friends from other schools will ask.
You grin. You look ahead. You try not to pity them. “We’re the goddamn Lancers.”
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